Do you really want to know if your man is cheating on you, or would you rather stay in blissful ignorance?
As I age, become jaded and get through various man experiences, I’m starting to take the stand that I’d rather stay in blissful ignorance. I hang out alot with guys, and all of my men friends have cheated on their wives/girlfriends. These are fairly decent guys, some born again, but they have cheated. They say it was nothing, was about the sex, sense of adventure etc, and would never admit to their girls even in their death bed.
My research isn’t representative, but it means there’s the possibility that the man you’re with is or has cheated on you. Do you want to know?
I don’t want to know if I’m happy with the man. If a man is treating me well, loves me and I’m happy with him, I don’t want to know if he’s sleeping around or not. I want him to respect me enough to hide it well from me, and keep me happy, then let me find out when I’m no longer happy with him, and use this as an excuse to dump him. When with him, I want the peace of mind in believing I’m the only one, because otherwise, I’d have to be digging up info on him full time, trying to look for evidence that is cheating, because of what I know.
Is this shooting too low?
respect you enough to hide it from you? >…. The way I see it is if he has to hide it its something he is ashamed and shouldn’t be doing.
I’d rather know really. I’d much rather know… as much as it would hurt.
Comment by Vampy Vixen — January 26, 2009 @ 8:05 pm |
@Vampy Vixen, Very few are proud of cheating, but does that stop them?
Does that mean even in marriage you would want to know? What will you do with the knowledge?
My theory is that if the relationship is working, I don’t want to know, because that just throws a spanner in the works, that’s why I never snoop. If it isn’t working in other ways, then I want to know.
Comment by Venus — January 27, 2009 @ 6:33 am |
For pete’s sake Venus! If you are in a relationship and someone is cheating on you…..then you are not in a relationship! (just my humble opinion).
I think the foundation of a relationship is COMMITMENT and if someone can’t do it and is out there screwing every Tomette, Dickette and Hariette, then obviously he doesn’t want to be in it.
Comment by Mama — January 27, 2009 @ 7:37 pm |
@ Venus… Yeah If we were married and he cheated! Yes I want to know — grounds for divorce babe and I take half!!
@ Mama… U can be in a relationship and he cheats on u … happens ALL THE TIME
Comment by vampyvixen — January 27, 2009 @ 9:49 pm |
@Mama, Oh! It happens all the time as Vampy says, just that some men are so good at it, we will never know. I have this theory that a man cannot commit to sleep with one woman for the rest of his life. Love is one thing, sex is another kettle of fish altogether.
@Vampy, I was of the same opinion, but right now, not so sure, that’s why I’m steering clear of marriage.
Comment by Venus — January 28, 2009 @ 9:15 am |
I find it very interesting. A guy is sleeping with other chics. The chic is sleeping with other guys. And they are boyfriend-galfriend like. If it’s inevitable that this will happen [inevitable for the guy at least], why have exclusive relationships.
Comment by Samborera — January 29, 2009 @ 7:10 pm |
@Samborera, because in the beginning, we want to believe it’s exclusive, and in most cases, the guy will not have his gal sleeping with other men openly. Would you?
Comment by Venus — January 30, 2009 @ 12:51 pm |
So we’re big on deluding ourselves? In the beginning? It depends. If the two of you are exclusive [you had the discussion and everything], and she wants to be with other guys, then I would walk. I’m not a fan of double standards so if I’m part of a couple, it’s her and her alone. If I happen to want other people, I’d end the relationship first.
Comment by Samborera — January 30, 2009 @ 1:57 pm |
@Samborera, that is the ideal, but it’s an undeniable fact that most men will cheat on their exclusive girlfriends, and so will women, on their exclusive men. I’m also a serial monogamist, but well..That won’t prevent a greedy man from cheating on me now will it?
Comment by Venus — January 30, 2009 @ 3:09 pm |
The good thing about most is that it doesn’t include everyone. So the guy you hook up with could have eyes only for you. Do you ever consider that. It must be terribly difficult being with someone and wondering all the time that they are greedy.
Comment by Samborera — January 30, 2009 @ 5:47 pm |
@Samborera, one can only hope, and that’s why I don’t want to know, won’t bother to look, unless I’m ready to leave the man. Too painful.
Comment by Venus — January 30, 2009 @ 7:47 pm |